How to Overcome Insecurity Associated with Weight Gain and Body Image

Do you constantly doubt yourself? Could you use a self-confidence pick-me-up? Insecurity stems from childhood (and other times of life) programming where you are taught to constantly be on guard in case something should go wrong. You are taught that if something can go wrong, it will. You will have to reprogram yourself to get rid of all of your insecurity.

There's nothing more sexy than confidence. If there's one thing most women need more of its inner confidence.

There is a beauty, a slimming and a cosmetic industry that relies on women feeling insecure about who they are. Images are airbrushed within a small margin of recognition; 13 - 15 year old children are used to model clothes that women in their 30's and 40's will buy.

Take a trip to your local clothes store, every mannequin is a size 10 or under. What does this say to you the consumer? It might say you are not seen, you are not important. It might say to you, conform, be like this image. Love fashion but love yourself also.

We all know that we can lose weight, we can buy the clothes, shoes and matching purse; but we will never be able to turn back years, nor should we want to, but we do. Beauty is not homogenized, its not one size fits all. Grown folk need to let that go and cherish what makes them unique. Emphasize being healthy, knowing your own beauty and living by that definition, not one created to improve a bank balance.

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We all have a choice, in what we choose to believe, if you are ready to take control over your own self image, not having it manipulated to suit some fashion designers pocket, or some cosmetic surgeons bank balance

Being overweight can adversely affect how you see yourself as a valued individual in society. It seems like all of society is geared towards young thinness. Well the society that is seen in the media maybe, but you can control what you think about yourself. Making the positive steps to change that now will move you towards your goal.

Beauty isn't a myth, perfection is. The truth is, the kind of physical beauty that makes it on to magazine covers isn't as rare as you would think.

It is time to look beyond the air brushed photos and personally trained bodies of celebrities and see the true picture. How can you be expected to hold true to a standard of beauty that is marred by perfection? Physical beauty is not the most important thing in the world and it should never be the most important thing in your life. While it is healthy to want to be the most attractive "you" possible, it is not healthy to do whatever it takes to see that "you". The media images should not be seen as targets or goals, but as works of art. Like Michelangelo's David or the Mona Lisa, media images today are nothing more than artistic styling’s of our age. In most cases the models themselves are airbrushed and retouched to be flawless - the flaws of humanity stripped out of their faces in order to sell and seduce. Sure they are beautiful to look at, but they are not realistic images of beauty. We are so caught up in living up to these images that we don't stop to think that perfection and beauty aren't at all the same.

Nobody is perfect - nobody should want to be!

Body image involves far more than our perception of how we appear to others. It encompasses our self-esteem and self-respect, and it can impinge on everything from a decision about what dress we wear to a party to our relationships, work and health.

There has been so much said in recent years about body image and the media. About how it makes women feel to see super slim super models gracing the pages of every fashion magazine, and how guys feel when they see the Adonis like physiques of the men on TV and in print ads. The "expert" opinions have not been good - the pressure to be perfect is so great that it is destroying the self esteem of an entire generation! Is this really true? Is an entire generation being made insecure by the images of the "ideal body" that plague our TV screens, magazine pages and billboards?

Studies suggest that women are constantly evaluating themselves, based on whether they look good and how they feel about their bodies. These studies also show a direct correlation between low self-esteem and poor body image so, in theory, by developing a better body image, we could all improve our self-confidence.

The "pressure of perfection" on girls and women has long been a hot topic of debate in feminist circles. It is a long held feminist belief that societal images of beauty are destroying the self esteem of girls before they even reach their teens. Naomi Wolfe's 1992 book “The Beauty Myth" fronted the feminist "backlash" revolution that declared standards of beauty to be weapons used to "keep women in their place". Her book ruffled a lot of feathers and put the idea of "beauty as bondage" on the fast track of social issues. "The Beauty Myth" made a lot of people stop and think and many women declared that they would no longer accept the standards of beauty placed on them by society, not for themselves or their daughters. But at the end of the day, eating disorder rates in girls and young women increased.

The pressure to be perfect has even made plastic surgery an issue for teens. In 1999 teen pop star Britney Spears had to fight off accusations that she had breast surgery to make her breasts larger. Nobody even once stopped to think that, being a teenager at the end of puberty, her breasts may have blossomed from girlish to womanly all by themselves. What is even more disturbing is that, real or not, her breasts opened a dialogue among teenagers that exposed a frightening truth. The "Great Britney Boob Debate" revealed that a large number of teenagers would jump at the chance to have plastic surgery while still teens, and that another 45% would consider it after they had finished growing.

Learn to be confident
What one single personality trait most makes you popular, attractive and sexy? It's nothing to do with being tall, slim and beautiful; it's everything to do with being confident. Countless studies show that people are attracted to people with high self-esteem. If a woman genuinely believes in herself - not with the arrogance of uncertainty, but with a calm inner security - people are drawn to her like a magnet!

To start to turn this round and become self secure, you first need to alter the basics, the way you approach life in general.

Look confident
Feeling good about yourself on the inside will make you feel great on the outside. You can also add to the internal changes you're making by deliberately looking and acting more confident. If you add extra zing to the way you come across, people will respond to you more positively - and that in turn will then make you feel even better about yourself!

Feel good about your physical appearance.
1. Don't make comparisons with others - accept yourself. In particular, don't compare yourself with models, celebrities and anyone who has their photos in the papers - they all get airbrushed so what you see is not reality!
2. Be proactive in looking good. But only change what is healthy for you to change; going over the top with, for example, starvation diets or extreme cosmetic surgery is a sign you need to work at being more comfortable with whom you are.
3. Being actively kind to your body will help you feel better about it. Indulging in sensual activities such as dance, massage - and loving sex - will work wonders for your body confidence.
4. Remember that after the first ten seconds, most people won't judge you on the way you look. If your personality shines through, you will make a good impression and people will respond positively to you.
5. If in any situation you find yourself feeling bad about the way you look, use this quick strategy. Remember a time when you felt really confident in your appearance, then take a deep breath and as you let it out, let yourself feel good.

Add in confident body language - to make yourself seem confident even when you're not.
1. Don't hide inside your clothes, choosing too-big sizes because you hate your figure. Dress gurus suggest that whatever size you are, outlining your shape will make a more confident - and so more effective statement.
2. Resist the temptation to play it safe if choosing between a conservative look and a stunning one. Dress to turn heads and you will - which in itself will boost your self-esteem.

Develop confidence
A confident woman makes a successful partner - so bring your self-esteem into your love life.
With more confidence, you'll be more able to take on new challenges in life.

How to get rid of all of your insecurity?

Making positive steps will move you towards your goal

B. E. A. U. T. I. F. U. L.

Be the most gorgeous you. Stand in front of the mirror and find five things that you love about yourself, if it’s just the tip of your nose love it. Find a way to celebrate what is good to you. It’s not about anyone's approval.

Emit positivity. It’s hard to get a really good result, good self esteem from being negative about everything. Watch what you say about yourself, turn that negative into a positive. Find two positive things to say about your body and you; and believe it !

Assess yourself for change. Don't sit down and think about everything to just feel bad about yourself, or to feel regretful. Believe it or not this way of thinking can actually be a form of comfort, in a negative way. Use your assessment time to make the change in your life. If you look back and see that you are not doing enough with your mind, your body, you and your time, take the assessment to make goals to change those areas in your life. Don’t start big, start with a small step. What do you want to change based on your past history? Make one goal and start with a small step to achieve that. If you want to lose 100 pounds then a way to doing that is to incorporate healthy living into your life, maybe start of with a five pound goal with exercise and little changes to your diet that will empower you to see you losing the 95 remaining pounds.

Uniquely you. There is no one like you. No one will ever be you. You are different from everyone else. There is something that you have that no one on this earth will ever have. Firstly, do you know what that something is? Do you really know what makes you different? Embrace your difference, not as a way to be superior but as an acceptance for yourself. Secondly, you do not measure beauty by what everyone else says it is. Beauty starts and ends with you first. It's the rest of the world that will catch up. When you see that unique beauty as yours the world will also.

Take back control. Don't make excuses for your laziness, your lack of direction or your friends and family. If you have something in your life that is taking your power to choose, your power to be who you are , your power to be in control of what you think about you and your life, get rid of it! There may be some toxic habits, choices, friends and relatives that you may have to put on notice. This is your life you have a right to enjoy it.

Inspiration required. you may have what you thought was inspiration by examining countless celebrity magazines, glossy magazines that were just 300 page advertisements trying to get you to buy what they were selling. You may have watched countless makeover shows that talked about changing who you are from the outside in. Real inspiration comes from people who have overcome, who have fought for a dream and won. Who are these people to you? Maybe they are in your family, your community, they could even be famous. You want inspiration that isn’t just about what a person puts on their body, but who they are, their character and what they have achieved . Find a man who can be this inspiration to you, that will encourage you to move towards your goals.

Fun time is your time. Are you actually doing what makes you happy? We have all met those people who hate their jobs, their family, their weight, their lives. These people spend countless minutes telling you and the world about it. Its hard to imagine those people enjoying themselves. Are you one of them? If you are one of them, don't worry its not too late to change. Fun is your right. There must be something that makes you sputter, roll off the couch and laugh yourself silly. Can you find it? So long as its legal, and not detrimental to anyone you can. People who have fun in life emit confidence that goes toward an attractive demeanor. Was it so long ago since you had unabashed fun time without worrying about how you look? The rest of the world isn't always looking at you, criticizing you. That was you. Get out and find that thing that you do. Make the next month a time when you forget about what you think other people think about you, even what you think about you and just go for it. One thing. Just for Fun!

Undo the damage done by unhealthy habits. These maybe a multitude of things, and you know what they are. You can create the new positive habits by doing something consistently for 3 - 6 weeks. Start small, aim big. This all goes toward you making the most of your life and your body. Prayer, mediation and finding that space to visualize yourself in that positive habit can aid you in this. Find one habit you want to change and change it within the next 3 - 6 weeks. Just do it!

Love yourself and others. Give what you want to receive. Its not all about you, but it begins with you. Your every waking moment should not be spent contemplating your weight, your complexion, your lack. When you love you for just being you and unique, you will begin to see what is unique and special about everyone else. You cannot love anyone else or even begin to consider any of it if you don't know who you are, have no life and no control. Beautiful is the fullness of your unique beauty that begins with you and impacts those around you, love you and aim to give back.